"Men are good in one way, but bad in many" ~Aristotle

It's really fantastic being a man. I mean, I've always inherently known this fact, but until recently have not attempted to prove it. Because -- let's be honest -- is there any doubt? I know, I know, women are always trying to change us, which by implication alerts all other women to the fact that we have something that needs changing. But I think it's all just a big conspiracy to protect our heads from exploding from pure suave egocentricity. But that's neither here nor there. You can't keep us down. Men still rule.

Let's outline just a few of the many, many, MANY benefits of being a man:

- We can get grey hair and be distinguished instead of old.

- We can get moderately overweight and be portly instead of fat.

- We can (with very few exceptions) make bodily noises in public.

- We can walk in front of a mirror and almost always find ourselves attractive.

- We can think about sex for hours (or decades) without getting bored.

- We rarely have to be bothered with those pesky things called thoughts.

- We can go bald and it is considered cute instead of tragic.

- 15 minutes from wake-up to ready-for-work. Tops.

- 15 minutes from home-from-gym to sleeping. Tops.

- We can generally wear "casual" and still pull off "semi-formal."

- We can sleep around and not be viewed as contaminated.

- Our wrinkles are attractive.

- We can resolve conflicts with the same sex within minutes.

- We can resolve conflicts with the opposite sex with ... sex.

So, with all of these things (and many more) going for us, why is it that we would willingly change ANYTHING for the hope of a second glance from a beautiful woman? Like the threat of you breaking up with us (or -- gasp! -- "withholding" anything) is going to influence our decisions. Right?

Right...?

Hmmm... maybe Aristotle was onto something...

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