"Bagels and doughnuts... round food for every mood" ~Chandler Bing

Now I'm not one to complain about things, but honestly. Whose bright idea was it to make cake doughnuts? Can you just picture some hapless genius munching melancholily on a wonderful yeast-raised doughnut, when suddenly he thinks: "You know what would be awesome? This exact same kind of food, except for heavier and drier and sweetless-er! I'll be a millionaire!"

Then again, what do I know? For all I know, the disgusting type of doughnut was invented first, and fresh, light, melt-in-your-mouth yeast-raised doughnuts came later. But all the same, once the better technology was there, why not deprecate cake doughnuts entirely? You don't see me still using cassette tapes, do you? Or a paper & leather-bound encyclopedia? Or a non-3G-network phone?

People, it's time to grow up and move on. No more heavy doughnuts!

Of course, having said all that, there are very few things in this world better than a Krispy Kreme pumpkin-spice cake doughnut. Yummy!